<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN"> <html lang="en-US" xml:lang="en-US" > <head> <meta name="AUTHOR" content="Wilson Mar, 310.320-7878"> <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=utf-8" /> <meta name="keywords" content="dating, romancing, romance, romantic, dates, making love, loving, lover"> <meta name="description" content="My notes on romancing: memorable quotes, beautiful artwork, links to wisdom on other sites."> <title>Romancing</title> <link rel="Shortcut Icon" type="image/x-icon" href="/favicon.ico" /> <link rel="stylesheet" href="http://merc.tv/global.css" type="text/css"> <script language="javascript" src="http://merc.tv/common.js"></script> </head> <body bgcolor="#FFFFe0" topmargin="0" leftmargin="0" marginwidth="0" marginheight="0" Text="#550000" link="blue" Vlink="#000088" Alink="red"> <a name="TopMenu"></a> <table cellspacing="0" cellpadding="0" width="100%" border="0"><tr valign="top"><td width="80"> <a href="1service.htm" accesskey="G"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wilson/60x60.jpg" width="60" height="60" alt="How I may help" hspace="0" /></a> <br /><a target="_blank" href="http://twitter.com/wilsonmar"><img src="http://twitter.com/favicon.ico" width="16" height="16" /></a><a target="_blank" href="http://www.linkedin.com/in/wilsonmar"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/linkedin_16x16.gif" alt="LinkedIn Profile" width="16" height="16" /></a> <a href="#Feedback"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/sendmsg.gif" alt="Email me!" width="18" height="9" /></a><br /> <a href="skype:wilsonmar4?userinfo"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/logos/skype.png" width="16" height="16" alt="Call me using Skype client on your machine"></a> </td><td> <br /> <h1><a id="PageID" target="_top" href="http://www.wilsonmar.com/1romance.htm"><img alt="Reload this page" src="http://merc.tv/img/thispage.gif" height="14" width="20" /> Romancing</a> </h1><p class="intro"> How can I be romantic? If I have to ask, I don't get it. So you can see I need your contributions here! <p> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/wav.gif" width="16" height="16" border="0"> <a href="sounds/medieval.wav"> Sound: Medieval</a> <br /> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/midi.gif" alt="midi" width="16" height="16" border="0"> <a href="sounds/love_story.mid"> "Love Story" movie theme song</a> <br /> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/midi.gif" alt="midi" width="16" height="16" border="0"> <a href="sounds/casablanca.mid"> "As Time Goes By", theme song from movie "Casablanca"</a> <p> </td><td width="15">&nbsp; </td><td><br /><p class="Topichead"><a name="Topics"></a> Topics this page: <li class="Itemsep"><a class="TopicChoice" href="#WhatIsLove"> What Is Love?</a>&nbsp;</nobr> <li class="Itemsep"><a class="TopicChoice" href="#Wants"> What Lovers Want</a>&nbsp;</nobr> <nobr> <li class="Itemsep"><a class="TopicChoice" href="#InLove"> How Lovers Behave</a></nobr> <li class="Itemsep"><a class="TopicChoice" href="#TheWays"> How to Show Love</a>&nbsp;</nobr> <li class="Itemsep"><a class="TopicChoice" href="#LoveScale"> How In Love?</a></nobr> <li class="Itemsep"><a class="TopicChoice" href="#Links"> Romance Sites</a></nobr> <li class="Itemsep"><a class="TopicChoice" href="#Weddings"> Weddings</a>&nbsp;</nobr> <li class="Itemsep"><a class="TopicChoice" href="#Registries"> Registries</a>&nbsp;</nobr> <li class="Itemsep"><a class="TopicChoice" href="#Bottom">Your <span style="text-decoration:underline">c</span>omments???</a>&nbsp;</li> </td><td width="15">&nbsp; 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</script></div> </td></tr></table> <p align="center"> <script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client = "pub-1513434032794226"; google_alternate_color = "FFFFe0"; google_ad_width = 728; google_ad_height = 90; google_ad_format = "728x90_as"; google_ad_channel ="7426624388";google_language = 'en'; google_color_border = "FDFFCA"; google_color_bg = "FDFFCA"; google_color_link = "0000CC"; google_color_url = "008000"; google_color_text = "000000"; //--></script> <script type="text/javascript" src="http://pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/show_ads.js"> </script> </p> <a name="Topic1"></a> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <a name="WhatIsLove"></a><h2> <a href="#WhatIsLove"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemthis.gif" border="0" alt="Top of page" width="17" height="17"></a> Why Love? </h2> <ul> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved. &#8212;Victor Hugo <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> Love is a portion of the soul itself, and it is of the same nature as the celestial breathing of the atmosphere of paradise. &#8212;Victor Hugo <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> You will never know true happiness until you have truly loved, and you will never understand what pain really is until you have lost it. <nobr>&#8212;Anonymous</nobr> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> The sweetest joy, the wildest woe is love. &#8212;Pearl Bailey <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return. &#8212;From "Unforgettable with Love" by Natalie Cole <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> Life without love is like a tree without blossom and fruit. &#8212;Khalil Gibran </p><p> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/bible.gif" alt="Scripture" width="16" height="16" border="0"> <a target="bible" href="http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?new=1&section=*&version=KJV&showtools=on&word=1+Corinthians+13">1st Corinthians (KJV)</a> <ul><span class="Scripture"> Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, and have not charity, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal. <br /> And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing. <br /> And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing. </span></ul> </p><p> </p></ul> </td><td><span class="OfferText"> <a href="http://affiliates.art.com/get.art?T=15039118&A=139536&L=8&P=10036520&S=2&Y=0" target="_blank" > <img src="http://merc.tv/img/art/028_4434.jpg" width="303" height="425" alt="'Kissing the War Goodbye, VJ Day, Times Square, August 14, 1945' by Victor Jorgensen" border="0"></a> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" border="0" alt="Prior Topic" width="32" height="22"></a> <br /> <a href="#Wants"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" border="0" alt="Next topic" width="40" height="23"></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <a name="Wants"></a><h2> <a href="#Wants"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemthis.gif" border="0" alt="Top of page" width="17" height="17"></a> What is Love? </h2> <ul> "What Is Love?" Shakespeare asks in his <span style="text-decoration:underline">Twelfth Night</span> <p> <p align="left"> Some <strong>words </strong>used to describe what people want from relationships: <ul><em> unique, special, uncommonly ... <br /> deep, warm ... </em></ul> <p> <li>passion <li>affection (attraction) <li>intimacy <li>appreciation (gratitude) <li>commitment <li>generosity (giving) <p> <li>acceptance (belonging) <a href="1spirit.htm#IAmAccepted"> in Christ</a> <li>significance (importance) <a href="1spirit.htm#IAmSignificant"> in Christ</a> <li>security (dependability) <a href="1spirit.htm#IAmSecure"> in Christ</a> <li>permanence (stability) forever <li>respect (consideration of feelings) </strong> <p class="Scripture"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/bible.gif" alt="Scripture" width="16" height="16" border="0"> And this is love: that we walk in <strong>obedience </strong> to his commands.<br /> &#8212;<a target="bible" href="http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?new=1&section=*&version=all&showtools=on&word=2+John+1:6" target="_top">2nd John 1:6</a> </p></ul> </td><td> <center><p align="center"> <a class="OfferText" href="http://affiliates.art.com/get.art?T=15039118&A=139536&L=8&P=10040502&S=2&Y=0" target="_blank"> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/art/6820299.jpg" width="275" height="370" alt="Romeo and Juliet by Sir Frank Dicksee. Get this print framed on your wall!" border="0"><br />Get this print framed for your wall!</a> </font></center></P> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#WhatIsLove"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#LoveScale"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <a name="LoveScale"></a><h2> <a href="#LoveScale"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemthis.gif" border="0" alt="Go to top of page" width="17" height="17"></a> How In Love Are You?</font></h2> <ul> <img align="right" src="http://merc.tv/img/art/love60s.jpg" alt="Classic Sky Love (Red Green Blue) bh Robert Indiana" width="116" height="118"> Among Zick Rubin's 79 item &#8220;Love Scale&#8221; to measure the extent of an individual's Romantic Love are these items below. Each item on the love scale should be responded to on a continuum ranging from &#8220;Not at all true; disagree completely,&#8221; (Scored as 1) to <br /> &#8220;Definitely true; agree completely&#8221; (scored as 9). The total scale score is the sum of scores on individual items. <p> <ol type="1"> <li>If he/she was feeling badly, my first response would be to cheer him/her up. </p><p> <li>I feel that I can confide in him/her about virtually everything. </p><p> <li>I find it easy to ignore him/her faults. </p><p> <li>I would do almost anything for him/her. </p><p> <li>I feel very possessive toward him/her. </p><p> <li>If I could never be with him/her, I would feel miserable. </p><p> <li>If I were lonely, my first thought would be to seek out him/her. </p><p> <li>One of my primary concerns is him/her welfare. </p><p> <li>I would forgive him/her for practically anything. </p><p> <li>I feel responsible for his (her) well-being. </p><p> <li>When I am with him/her, I-spend a good deal of time just looking at him/her. </p><p> <li>I would greatly enjoy being confided in by him/her. </p><p> <li>It would be hard for me to get along without him/her. </ol> </p><p> </td><td><br /><br /><ul> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.&nbsp; &#8212;Robert A. Heinlein <br /> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> &#8220;To love someone is to see a <strong> miracle invisible </strong> to others.&#8221; <br /> &#8212;Francois Mauriac <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> &#8220;Love is blind.&#8221; &#8212;<a target="_blank" href="http://search.biography.com/print_record.pl?id=1868" target="_top">Chaucer</a> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> &#8220;I think true love is never blind, but rather brings an <strong>added light, an inner vision </strong> quick to find the beauties hid from common sight.&#8221; &#8212;Phoebe Cary <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> It is only with the heart that one can see rightly, what is essential is invisible to the eye." &#8212;Antoine de Saint-Exupery <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> &#8220;Lust is when you love what you <strong>see</strong>. Love is when you lust for what's <strong>inside</strong>.&#8220; &#8212;Renee Conkle <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> To be in love is merely to be in a state of perpetual anesthesia: To mistake an ordinary young man for a Greek god. Or an ordinary young woman for a goddess. &#8212;H.L. Mencken </p><p> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> &#8220;To look at her face is like being shone upon by a ray of the sun.&#8221; &#8212;<a target="_blank" href="http://search.biography.com/print_record.pl?id=15678">Nathanial Hawthorne</a> </p><p> * Enchanted * Captivated * Enamored * </p><p> <p></ul> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#Wants"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#InLove"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <a name="InLove"></a><h2> <a href="#InLove"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemthis.gif" border="0" alt="Top of page" width="17" height="17"></a> How Do Lovers Behave? </h2> <ul> <span id="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" border="0"> &#8220;You can't measure love -- but you <strong> can </strong> measure if someone is <strong>acting </strong> in a <strong>loving manner</strong>.&#8221;</span> </font> <a target="_blank" href="http://affiliates.art.com/get.art?T=15039118&A=139536&L=8&P=10054145&S=2&Y=0" <img src="http://merc.tv/img/art/waterhousepenelopesuit.jpg" alt="'Penelope and the Suitors' by Waterhouse" width="500" height="333" border="0"></a> <p id=Quote> <font FACE="Comic Sans MS,Arial" size=-1 COLOR=Black> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/joke.gif" width="16" height="16"> &#8220;All I ask is that you treat me no differently than you would the Queen.&#8221;</font> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> &#8220;Love seeketh only <strong>self</strong> to please.&#8221; &#8212;<a target="_blank" href="http://search.biography.com/print_record.pl?id=1644" target="_top">William Blake</a> <span id="Scripture"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/bible.gif" alt="Scripture" width="16" height="16" border="0"><br />&#8220;He that loveth his wife loveth himself.&#8221; &#8212; <a target="bible" href="http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?new=1&section=*&version=all&showtools=on&word=Ephesians+5:28">Ephesians 5:28</a> (KJV) </span> </p><p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> True love cannot be found where it truly does not exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. &#8212;Anonymous </p><p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/joke.gif"> &#8220;Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake whole relationships.&#8221; <nobr>&#8212;Sharon Stone</nobr> </DIV> </p><p> </td><td width="325"> <a href="http://affiliates.art.com/get.art?T=15039118&A=139536&L=8&P=10009696&S=2&Y=0" target="_blank"> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/art/6520047.jpg" width="294" height="370" alt="La Belle Dame Sans Merci by Sir Frank Dicksee. Get this print framed for your wall!" border="0"><br />Get this print framed for your wall!</a> <br /> <!-- <p><span class="OfferText"> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/book1.gif" width="17" height="13"> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.netlibrary.com/ebook_info.asp?product_id=41227&piclist=56781,20772,25567,39801"> 0664256937 The Prostitute in the Family Tree : Discovering Humor and Irony in the Bible</a> Douglas E. Adams, (Louisville, Ky. Westminster John Knox Press, 1997) </span> Rahab --> </p><p> </p></ul> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#LoveScale"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#CorinthLove"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <ul> <a name="CorinthLove"></a><h2> <a href="#CorinthLove"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemthis.gif" border="0" alt="Top of page" width="17" height="17"></a> 1st Corinthians 13</h3> <table cellpadding="4" cellpadding="0" border="1"> <tr><th> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/bible.gif" alt="Scripture" width="16" height="16" border="0"> <a target="bible" href="http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?new=1&section=*&version=KJV&showtools=on&word=1+Corinthians+13">KJV</a> </th><th> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/bible.gif" alt="Scripture" width="16" height="16" border="0"> <a target="bible" href="http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?new=1&section=*&version=all&showtools=on&word=1+Corinthians+13">NIV</a> </th><th> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/bible.gif" alt="Scripture" width="16" height="16" border="0"> <a target="bible" href="http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?new=1&section=*&version=all&showtools=on&word=1+Corinthians+13">ISV</a> </th></tr> <tr valign="top"><td> <span class="Scripture"> Charity suffereth long, <br />and is kind; <br />charity envieth not; <br />charity vaunteth not itself, <br />is not puffed up, </p><p> Doth not behave itself unseemly, <br />seeketh not her own, <br />is not easily provoked, <br />thinketh no evil; </p><p> Rejoiceth not in iniquity, <br />but rejoiceth in the truth; </p><p> Beareth all things, <br />believeth all things, <br />hopeth all things, <br />endureth all things. </p><p> Charity never faileth: </td><td> <span class="Scripture"> Love is patient, <br /> love is kind. <br /> It does not envy, <br /> it does not boast, <br /> it is not proud. </p><p> It is not rude, <br /> it is not self-seeking, <br /> it is not easily angered, </p><p> it keeps no record of wrongs. <br /> Love does not delight in evil <br /> but rejoices with the truth. </p><p> It always protects, <br /> always trusts, <br /> always hopes, <br /> always perseveres. <br /> Love never fails. </span> </td><td> <span id="Scripture"> Love is always patient, <br /> Love is always kind, <br /> Love is never envious <br /> Or vaunted up with pride. <br /> Nor is she conceited, </p><p> 5 And never is she rude, <br /> Never does she think of self <br /> Or ever get annoyed. <br /> She never is resentful, </p><p> 6 Is never glad with sin, <br /> But always glad to side with truth, <br /> Whene'er the truth should win. </p><p> 7 She bears up under everything, <br /> Believes the best in all, <br /> There is no limit to her hope, <br /> And never will she fall. </span> </td></tr></table> </p><p> </p></ul> </td><td><br /><br /> <a name="respect"></a> <ul> <li>doesn't put me down <li>doesn't call me names <li>doesn't yell at me <li>doesn't hit me <li>doesn't whine or nag <p> <li>doesn't scare me <li>isn't reckless <li>doesn't waste my time <li>doesn't waste my money </p><p> <li>looks at me <li>listens to me <li>asks me for my opinion <li>honors my individuality </p><p> <li>makes decisions with me <li>does what I ask <li>is patient with me <li>lets me finish first </p></ul> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#InLove"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#TheWays"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td width=500> <a name="TheWays"></a><h2> <a href="#TheWays"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemthis.gif" border="0" alt="Go to top of page" width="17" height="17"></a> How to Show Love</h2> <ul> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> &#8220;How do I love thee? Let me count the ways...&#8221; <nobr>&#8212;<a target="_blank" href="http://search.biography.com/print_record.pl?id=1748" target="_top"> Elizabeth Barrett Browning</a></nobr> <p> Gary Chapman defines <strong> Five Love Languages:</strong> <br /> <a class="TopicChoice" href="#Words"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemsep.gif" width="11" height="11" alt="on this page" border="0" />Words</a>, <a class="TopicChoice" href="#Gifts"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemsep.gif" width="11" height="11" alt="on this page" border="0" />Gifts</a>, <a class="TopicChoice" href="#Service"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemsep.gif" width="11" height="11" alt="on this page" border="0" />Service</a>, <a class="TopicChoice" href="#Touch"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemsep.gif" width="11" height="11" alt="on this page" border="0" />Touch</a>, <a class="TopicChoice" href="#Time"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemsep.gif" width="11" height="11" alt="on this page" border="0" />Time</a> <p> How <strong> generous </strong> are you with each gesture? <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" alt="quote" width="20" height="18"> Most of us believe in trying to make other people happy only if they can be happy in ways which we approve. &#8212;Robert S. Lynd <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif"> The heart has reasons that reason does not understand. &#8212;Jacques Benigne Bossuel </ul> </td><td width="15">&nbsp; </td><td><br /><br /> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> Happiness is the only good. The time to be happy is now. The place to be happy is here. The way to be happy is to make others so. &#8212;Robert Green Ingersoll <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/joke.gif"> &#8220;You can't buy love, but you can pay heavily for it.&#8221; &#8212;Henny Youngman <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> I have learned to seek my happiness by limiting my desires, rather than in attempting to satisfy them. &#8212;John Stuart Mill <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> &#8220;Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to <strong>get</strong>, only with what you are expected to <strong>give</strong>... Which is everything.&#8221; &#8212;Katherine Hepburn </p></ul> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#InLove"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#Words"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <a name="Words"></a> <ol type="1"> <li><strong> Words </strong> of affirmation and encouragement: <ul> <li></a> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.usps.gov/letters/volume2/love-main.html"> Famous Love Letters</a> (at the U.S. Postal Service web site) and <a target="_blank" href="http://www.loveblender.com/heart/wishes.html"> Wishes for My Wife</a> focus on the other <strong> person</strong>: "You're the Greatest" "You amaze me" <li>Mutual commitment. <li>Nicknames &amp; pet names ("honey, sweetheart, darling" etc.) <li>Toasts ... "We ..." <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.romantic-lyrics.com/"> Love Songs</a> <li><a href="1pager.htm#StdPCodes"> Pager Codes</a> <li>&#8220;I love you&#8221; in Chinese: ba`O (w&ocirc; &agrave;i n&icirc;). <a href="sounds/morsecode.wav"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wav.gif" border="0"> Morse Code</a>: <br /><font size=+2><strong> . . / . _ . . _ _ _ . . . _ . / _ ._ _ _ _ _ . . _ </strong></font> </ul> <p> </ol> </td><td width=250><br /> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18" border="0"> There are not enough flowers, candy boxes, or candelit dinners to equal the sheer romantic power of one privately shared joke between a loving couple. <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18" border="0"> No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying. <p> <a target="_blank" href="1tactful.htm"><img alt="another page on this site" src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/go.png" width="11" height="12" /></a>Words for being tactful</a> <p> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.aristotle.net/~crazybob/how.htm"> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/dothis.gif" width="40" height="22" alt="Do this!" border="0" /> Take the &#8220;How Romantic Are You?&#8221; Quiz</a> <p> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#TheWays"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#Gifts"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <OL START=3> <p> <a name="Gifts"></a> <li>Tangible <strong> Gifts </strong> (Jewlery, food, balloons, wild flowers from a field or </a> <a target="_blank" href="http://click.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/stat?id=ETLoVWz440Q&offerid=6238&type=3&subid=0">1-800-FLOWERS</a>) A rose: <tt><strong>@}-`-------</strong></tt> <ul> <li>A chocolate bar because you're so sweet. <li>A teddy bear because you're so cute and cuddly. <li>A light bulb because you light up my life. <li>A pack of matches because you're so hot. <li>A small lamp is a symbol of how much I burn for you. <li>Email <a target="_blank" href="http://www.virtualflorist.com/en/act/home/"> virtual flowers</a> and greeting cards from <a target="_blank" href="http://singlec.com/cards.html"> Christians</a>, <a target="_blank" href="http://www.ohmygoodness.com/"> ohmygoodness</a>, <a target="_blank" href="http://mypostcards.com/"> etc.</a> <li>Photos, drawings, art, <a href=#Registries> registries</a>. <li>"Spiffs" from convention booths. Show that you're thinking of him/her. <li> <a href="https://giftcertificates.bedandbreakfast.com/Index.aspx?bid=8&aid=CD284&opt="> A gift certificates for a bed and breakfast place</a> shows your commitment, and is kinda a "forced" choice no excuse to get away. </ul> <p> </ol> </td><td width=250><center><p align="center"> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/w_gift.gif"><br /> Trivia: In 1477, Anne of Burgundy is the first woman to receive a diamond engagement ring &#8212; from Maximilian I of Germany. <p> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#CorinthLove"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#Gifts"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <OL START=3> <p> <a name="Service"></a> <li><strong> Acts of service </strong> (shopping, driving, opening doors, cleaning, washing, grooming, building or fixing something, showing up on time, planning, doing the paperwork, dropping a bad habit, </a> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/7783/healthy_love.htm"> fidelity</a>, ignoring annoyances) ... without being asked! <p> When it's cold: Light a fire. Bring your lover a hot drink ... in an insulated bottle so it stays warm. Scrape off the ice on the windshield. Warm up the car. Warm up the bed. <p> When it's hot: Set up a fan. Make ice cubes. Bring your lover a cold drink ... with a straw. <p> </ol> </td><td> <blockquote><center><p class="Scripture" align="center"> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/bible.gif" alt="Scripture" width="16" height="16" border="0"><br /><font COLOR=Black> Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. <br /> &#8212;<a target="bible" href="http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?new=1&section=*&version=all&showtools=on&word=John+15:13">John 15:13</a> <p> <a target="_blank" href="1actions.htm"><img alt="another page on this site" src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/go.png" width="11" height="12" /></a>Action words</a> </center> </blockquote> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#Gifts"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#Touch"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <OL START=4> <a name="Touch"></a> <li>Physical <strong> touching </strong> (<a target="_blank" href="http://www.virtualkiss.com//"> <img alt="webpage article" src="http://merc.tv/img/htm.gif" width="13" height="15" /> Kissing</a>, <a target="_blank" href="http://singles.dreammatch.com/massage.html"> <img alt="webpage article" src="http://merc.tv/img/htm.gif" width="13" height="15" /> Massage, and, OK, OK ... <a href="sounds/womoan.wav"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wav.gif" border="0"> sex</a>) </ol> </td><td width="15">&nbsp; </td><td width=250> <table width="132"> <script> // From http://happysmart.net/JavaScript/Button/Animation/KissButton/KissPage.htm //Preload Kiss Images kiss=new Image(132,70) kiss.src="http://merc.tv/img/kiss1.gif" kissAnim=new Image(132,70) kissAnim.src="http://merc.tv/img/kiss2.gif" function playSound() { document.all.sound.src = "sounds/kiss.wav" } document.write('<bgsound id="sound">') document.write('<a href="Javascript:void(0)" onMouseOver="document.KissButton.src=kissAnim.src;playSound()" onMouseOut="document.KissButton.src=kiss.src"><img align="left" src="http://merc.tv/img/kiss1.gif" alt="Click to animate!" name="KissButton" width=132 height=70 border="0" alt="Kiss Button"></a>') </script> </table> <a class="OfferText" href="http://www.art.com/asp/sp.asp?PD=1201500&RFid=054435&FT=Y"> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/art/KBD1201500.jpg" width="250" height=203 alt="Smack Attack by Dean Young. Get this print framed for your wall!" border="0"></a> <p> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.theromantic.com/stories/technology/main.htm"> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/star.gif" border="0"> Michael Webb's hundreds of romantic ideas</a> </p></ul> </td><td> </ol> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#Service"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#Time"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <OL START=5> <a name="Time"></a> <li>Quality <strong> time together</strong> <ul> <li><a href="1art.htm">Museums<img alt="another page on this site" src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/go.png" width="11" height="12" /></a>, zoos, lessons/classes on cooking, dancing, etc. <li>Picnic on the beach or on a roof during sunset <li>Feed pigeons <li>Shopping <li>Drive (cruise) around <li>Volunteer at a event <li>High school or college play </ul> </ol> <p> </td><td><br /><br /> <ul> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.aimforsuccess.org/createdate.html"> Fun dating ideas that minimize sexual pressure</a> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.frugalfun.com/romance.html"> Frugal Fun</a> lists 17 Great Romantic Dates for Penny-Pinchers. <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Pointe/3289/"> LA</a> and <a target="_blank" href="http://www.wwme.org"> World Wide Marriage Encounter</a> <br /> <a href="1travel.htm"><img alt="another page on this site" src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/go.png" width="11" height="12" /></a> Traveling</a> to <br /> <a href="1la_see.htm"> <img alt="another page on this site" src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/go.png" width="11" height="12" /></a> Los Angeles</a> </ul> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#Touch"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#Links"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <a name="Links"></a><h2> <a href="#Links"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemthis.gif" border="0" alt="Go to top of page" width="17" height="17"></a> Crooning </h2> <ul> <p class="Quote"> Let my arms be your safe haven, wrapped around you, strong and warm.<br /> Let my heart be your protector that will keep you free from harm.<br /> Let love's promise heal your spirit, bringing everlasting calm. <p class="Quote"> There is only one happiness in life, to love and be love. &#8212;George Sand, Letter to Lina Calamatta <p> </td><td> <p> <ul> <li>Use Dr. Harley's <a target="_blank" href="http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi4120_lovebustq.html"> Love Busters Questionaire</a> and <a target="_blank" href="http://www.lovecalculator.com/"> Love Calculator</a> <li>The <a target="_blank" href="http://www.cam.org/~jmauld/English/dateanal.html"> Dating Patterns Analyzer</a> evaluates your relationships and tells you what <em> really </em> makes you happy. <li>Get <a target="_blank" href="http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ISBN=0806515473/wilsonslifenotes/"> The Complete Guide to Everything Romantic</a> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://net.simplenet.com/love/romance.htm"> The Romance Page</a> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.lovegevity.com/"> Lovegevity.com</a>. <li>Get a list of <a target="_blank" href="http://www.romancerescue.com/Ideas.html"> romantic ideas</a> updated every month. <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.aarens.com/dating/romance.html"> Romance and Love Sites</a> <a href=http://www.nerve.com/scripts/pastpositions.plx?z=z&n=328> positions</a> <li><a href=http://www.smartmarriages.com/articles.html> Smart Marriages.com</a> has articles such as <a href=http://www.smartmarriages.com/sotile.html> Too Busy for Love? The Supercouple Syndrome<img src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/report.gif" border="0" width="16" height="16"></a> <p> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.bible.org/docs/splife/chrhome/love/toc.htm"> Living in Love: Secrets From Bible Marriages</a> by Richard L. Strauss <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www2.christianity.net/tcw/features/marriage.html"> Diane Mandt Langberg's articles on Love and Marriage</a> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.family.org/resources/"> James Dobson's Focus on the Family Resources</a> </ul> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#LoveScale"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#Weddings"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" width="100%"><tr valign="top"><td> <a name="Weddings"></a><h2> <a href="#Weddings"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemthis.gif" border="0" alt="Go to top of page" width="17" height="17"></a> Marriage</h2> <ul> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> &#8220;Grow old along with me. The best is yet to be.&#8221; &#8212;Robert Browning <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif"> I love thee, I love but thee With a love that shall not die. Till the sun grows cold; And the stars grow old. &#8212;Willam Shakespeare </p><p> <a class="OfferText" href="http://affiliates.art.com/get.art?T=15039118&A=139536&L=8&P=10082630&S=2&Y=0" target="_blank"> <img align="right" src="http://merc.tv/img/art/8941.jpg" width=300 alt="The Wedding by V. Marais Milton. Get this print framed for your wall!" border="0"></a> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18">As I stand here today with the world as my witness, I pledge to you my undying and everlasting love. I will stand beside you as your partner, I will stand before you as your protector, And I will stand behind you as your solace. Please spend and end your life with me. &#8212;<a target="_blank" href="http://www.lovepoemsandquotes.com/LovePoem07.html"> from Love Poems and Quotes.com</a> </p><p> Do you take her as your <strong>wife</strong>,<br /> to live with her and share your <strong>life</strong>?<br /> Will he be your husband <strong>true</strong>,<br /> and swear to always honor <strong>you</strong>? </p><p> <table><tr valign="top"><td width="40%" bgcolor="#FFFFFF"> <font COLOR=Black> </p><p> In the presence of God and these witnesses, and by a holy covenant, I, _______ joyfully receive you as God's perfect gift for me; to have and to hold from this day forward; for better, for worse; for richer, for poorer; in sickness and in health; to love you, to honor you; to <strong> cherish </strong> you and <strong> protect </strong> you; to <strong> respect </strong> you; forsaking all others as long as we both shall live. </p><p> With this Ring I thee wed, with my body I thee worship, and with all my worldly goods I thee endow. <p class="Byline">&#8212;The Book of Common Prayer: Solemnization of Matrimony</span> </td></tr></table> </p><p> Toast: <ul> Because I love you truly,<br /> Because you love me, too,<br /> My very greatest happiness<br /> Is sharing life with you. </ul> </p><p> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/joke.gif"> An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years. The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you. The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife." </p><p> <img align="right" src="http://merc.tv/img/photos/charles.diana.jpg" width="89" height="85"> <em> Robert Runcie, Archbishop of Canterbury, during the wedding of Prince Charles and Diana:</em> </p><p> <span class="Quote"><ul>&#8220;Here is the stuff of which fairy tales are made, the prince and princess on their wedding day. But fairy tales usually end at this point with the simple phrase, 'They lived happily ever after.' This may be because fairy tales regard <strong>marriage as an anti-climax</strong> after the romance of courtship. <p> This is not the Christian view. Our faith sees the wedding day not as a place of <strong>arrival</strong> but the place where the adventure <strong>begins</strong>.&#8221; </p><p> </ul> </span> <em> Mike McManus, a columnist for over 100 newspapers, in 1993 established a new standard in Bethesda, Maryland. </em> <p> <ul><p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> &#8220;The church should not be a 'wedding factory', but a training ground for strong marriages to go the distance&#8212;for life.&#8221; </ul> <p> <em> Over 45 cities now have a "Community Marriage Policy" where clergy of various denominations have united to require: </em> <ul> <li>Several months of premarital testing and preparation. <li>Training for mentor couples to come alongside of newly weds or struggling couples <font size=1> (such as <a target="_blank" href="http://www.comet.org/etms/"> East Texas Marriage Savers</a>), a church-based program. Bethesda, Md., call (301) 469-5873, 9 a.m. to 6 p.m. weekdays. </font> <li>Other marriage standards required before the church "blesses" the marriage. </ul> <p> <strong>Endogamy</strong> is the custom of marrying <strong>within </strong>a community. <br /><strong>Exogamy</strong> is the custom of marrying outside a community. <br />Consanguineal kinship is by marriage (in-laws and step relatives). <br />Affinal kinship is by blood (common genetic descent from the same individual). <p> <h3>Loving v. Virginia</h3> Richard and Mildred Loving were married in 1958 in Washington D.C. because <strong>interracial marriages</strong> were illegal in their home state of Virginia. They lived together in Caroline County, Virginia until 1959 when they were convicted of violating the state's <strong>anti-miscegenation law</strong>. They were each sentenced to one-year in jail -- suspended when they agreed to leave the state and not return for 25 years. </p><p> They returned to Washington D.C. and in 1963 initiated a suit challenging the anti miscegenation law. In March of 1966, the Virginia Supreme Court of Appeals upheld the law, with Judge Basile writing in his <a target="_blank" href="http://caselaw.lp.findlaw.com/scripts/getcase.pl?court=US&navby=case&vol=388&invol=1&friend=oyez"> ruling</a>: <ul><p class="Quote"> "Almighty God created the races white, black, yellow, malay and red, and He placed them on separate continents. And, but for the interference with His arrangements, there would be no cause for such marriage." </ul> </p><p> But in June of 1967, the U.S. Supreme Court unanimously ruled unconstitutional that law, also nullifying similar laws in 16 states. <img src="http://merc.tv/img/mp3.gif" width="16" height="11" alt="MP3"> <a target="_blank" href="http://www.oyez.org/oyez/resource/case/214/resources"> Hear the oral arguments in MP3</a> </p><p> Today, interracial couple U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and his wife, (who bears the name of the state), live in Virginia. </ul> </td><td"><br /><ul> <img align="right" src="http://merc.tv/img/art/isi-y267.jpg" alt="'Wedding Night' by Marc Chagall" width="364" height="450"> <h3> Love/Wedding Songs </h3> <li> A Moment Like This - Kelly Clarkson <li> All My Life - KC & JoJo <li> All that you can't leave behind - U2 <li> Amazed - Lonestar <li> As Time Goes By: Rod Steward <li> At last - Etta James <li> Beyond the Sea: Bobby Darin <li> Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Frankie Valli <li> Color My World - Chicago <li> Come What May - Ewan McGregor Nicole Kidman (from movie Moulin Rouge) <li> Could I Have This Dance - Anne Murray <li> Dancing Queen - Abba <li> For You I Will - Monica <li> From this Moment - Shania Twain and Bryan White(It's got to be the one with Bryan White) <li> Have I Told You Lately - Rod Stewart <li> Honey and the Moon - Joseph Arthur (on the soundtrack of American Wedding) <li> I Can't Help Falling in Love with You - Elvis/UB40 <li> I Cross My Heart - George Strait <li> I Do - Paul Brandt <li> I Knew I Loved You - Savage Garden <li> I want to grow old with you - Adam Sandler (from The Wedding Singer!) <li> I'm Beginning to See the Light - Bobby Darin <li> In My Life - Beatles <li> It's Your Love - Tim McGraw & Faith Hill <li> Keep On Loving You - REO Speedwagon <li> Lady in Red - Chris Deburgh <li> Let's Fall In Love - Frank Sinatra <li> Mysterious Ways - U2 <li> On the Wings of Love: Westlife <li> open arms by journey <li> Run - Snow Patrol <li> Take Me Out - Franz Ferdinand <li> The Rose - Bette Midler <li> Thank God I Found You - Mariah Carey, Joe, & 98 Degrees <li> That's All - Michael Buble <li> The Way You Look Tonight - Tony Bennett (Rod Stewart) <li> Till There Was You: Shirley Jones and Robert Preston (The Music Man Soundtrack - or Rod Stewart) <li> True - Spandau Ballet <li> Truly, Madly, Deeply - Savage Garden <li> Unchained Melody - Righteous Brothers <li> Unforgettable: Nat King Cole <li> Your Beautiful - James Blunt <li> You're Nobody Til Somebody Loves You: Dean Martn </p><p> <li> Hawiian Wedding Song - Andy Williams, Elvis Presley '73, '77 </p><p> <li> Celebration <li> We are family <li> We're going to the Chapel <li> L..is for the way you look at me <li> Groovin <li> Unforgettable <li> Always and forever <!-- <a name="chanoyu"></a><h3> <a href="#chanoyu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemthis.gif" border="0" alt="Go to top of page" width="17" height="17"></a> Japanese Tea Ceremony</h3> A complete Japanese Tea (<strong>Cha</strong>) Ceremony (<strong>chaji</strong>) is performed according to the <strong>Omotesenke</strong> school of tea started by Sen no Rikyu (d.1598) through his great-grandson, Sen Sosa. <p> <a target="_blank" href="http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/jmassey2/teaterms.htm"> <img alt="webpage article" src="http://merc.tv/img/htm.gif" width="13" height="15" /> Glossary of Tea Terms</a> <p> I am honored to be a <strong>haiken</strong> (guests viewing items used in a tea ceremony). <p> The ceremony is held in a <strong>tokonoma</strong> (alcove), which is decorated with a <strong>kakemono</strong> (hanging scroll), a <strong>chabana</strong> flower arrangement, or specially-displayed items. Incense burns from its <strong>kogo</strong> (incense container). <p> Preparations begin in the <strong>mizuya</strong> (preparation room) next to the tea room. In the <strong>bondemae</strong> form of a tea ceremony, all the implements are carried in a <strong>bon</strong> (tray). <p> Guests literally watch water boil. In fact, the Japanese name of the ceremony, <strong>chanoyu</strong> literally means "hot water for tea". <p> Guests enter the tea room through a <strong>nijiriguchi</strong> (small square door) and sit on a <strong>tatami</strong> (mat), each 3'x6' big. Don't be a <strong>otsume</strong> (last guest). <p> Every movement is important. <strong>Izumae</strong> is the procedure for fixing one's kimono after sitting down. <p> Tea is offered to the <strong>shokyaku</strong> (first guest) sitting next to the <strong>tesshu</strong> (host) on the special <strong>fumikomidatami</strong>. The host then proceeds to the <strong>jikyaku</strong> second guest. <p> Implements for the ceremony are stored on the <strong>tana</strong> (shelf). <strong>hirademae</strong> is a tea ceremony without any tana. <strong>matcha</strong> is the tea leaves ground into a powder, which retain their natural color. Notice the fine engravings on <strong>chashaku</strong> (scoop for tea, made out of bamboo, ivory or other material). <p> After a <strong>aisatsu</strong> (greeting), the <strong>chanoyu</strong> (ceremony) has four parts, each <strong>temae</strong> (presentation of a part of the tea ceremony) serves a type of <strong>macha</strong> (tea) in a special <strong>chawan</strong> (tea bowl container): <p> <ol type="1"> <li><strong>sumidemae</strong> is the arranging of charcoal in front of guests. Cold-water is carried from outside with a <strong>mizutsugi</strong>, which replenishing the <strong>mizusashi</strong> cold-water container. Water is boiled in a <strong>tetsubin</strong> (iron "teapot" style kettle with a handle). <p> Two types of pots are used to boil water, depending on the time of year: <p> <ul> <li>From May to November, a <strong>furo</strong> (portable brazier) is used. <p> <li>From November to May, a <strong>ro</strong> (sunken brazier) is used. </ul> <p> Boiling water is transferred to a (usually) iron <strong>kama</strong> (kettle). Waste water is put in a <strong>kensui</strong> container. <p> <li><strong>kaiseki</strong> starts with a light meal called <strong>cha-kaiseki</strong> of ordinary local ingredients carefully (but quietly and humbly) presented. This starts with <strong>misoshiru</strong> (miso soup) and ends with an array of different pickles served with the <strong>yuto</strong> (hot water). One pickle always has to be <strong>takuan</strong>. This is to prepare the pallet and the stomach for the strong macha served in a <strong>chaji</strong> container. <p> <li>During the most formal portion - <strong>koicha</strong> - thick matcha is served in a <strong>chaire</strong> container. Watch the graceful untieing of the <strong>shifuku</strong> silk bag holding the chaire. A <strong>chasen</strong> (bamboo whisk) is used to whip the tea. A <strong>kashi</strong> ("sweet") is served along with the tea from a <strong>kashiki</strong> tray. A <strong>dashibukusa</strong> special cloth is used to hold chawan during koicha. <p> <li>The final portion - <strong>usucha</strong> - is less formal. So a thinner matcha is served in a <strong>chaki</strong> container. <strong>Natsume</strong> is a specifically a jujube-shaped chaki, though the term is sometimes used generically. </ol> <p> Like dancing, <strong>kiribishaku</strong> (method of placing hishaku on kama) is an artform . <strong>Hikibishaku</strong> emulates holding a bow &amp; arrow. <strong>Kyogamae</strong> is the method of holding the hishaku as if looking into a hand-held mirror. <strong>chasen-toushi</strong> is the procedure for cleaning implements during chanoyu. <strong>okibishaku</strong> is the method of placing hishaku on kama. <p> Use the <strong>chakin</strong> (white linen cloth) to wipe the chawan (tea bowl). Use the <strong>fukusa</strong> silk square cloth to wipe implements (generally, it's purple for men, orange for woman, red for girls, or other colors depending on the age of the user.) <p> <a target="_blank" href="http://urasenkeseattle.org/kaiseki"> <img alt="webpage article" src="http://merc.tv/img/htm.gif" width="13" height="15" /> Recipies</a> --> </p> </ul> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#Links"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#Registries"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0"><tr valign="top"><td> <a name="Registries"></a><h2> <a href="#Registries"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/itemthis.gif" border="0" alt="Go to top of page" width="17" height="17"></a> Weddings </h2> <ul> <table width=250><tr valign="top"><td bgcolor="#FFCCCC"> <br /><blockquote><center><p align="center" class="Scripture"> <img src="http://merc.tv/img/icons/bible.gif" alt="Scripture" width="16" height="16" border="0"><br /> &#8220;The important thing to remember is that our remaining time is very short. For that reason those who have wives should stay as free as possible for the Lord; <p class="Scripture"> happiness or sadness or wealth should not keep anyone from doing God's work. <p class="Scripture"> Those in frequent contact with the exciting things the world offers should make good use of their opportunities without stopping to enjoy them; for the world in its present form will soon be gone.&#8221; <br />&#8212; <a target="bible" href="http://bible.crosswalk.com/OnlineStudyBible/bible.cgi?new=1&section=*&version=all&showtools=on&word=1+Corinthians+7:29-31">1st Corinthians 7:29-31</a> (TLB) </blockquote> </center> </td></tr></table> </ul> </td><td><br /><br /><ul> <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/quote.gif" width="20" height="18"> A wedding day begins with the beautiful sunrise of joyful anticipation and ends with the glorious sunset of fulfilled promises. <p class="Quote"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/joke.gif"> Love is an ocean of emotions entirely surrounded by expenses. &#8212;Thomas Robert Dewar </p><p> <em> Most retailers have setup on-line wedding gift registries on the Internet:</em> <p> <ul> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.weddingchannel.com"> WeddingChannel.com</a> pre-registers for Macy's and (after taking over dellajames.com) Neiman Marcus, Crate & Barrel, Williams-Sonoma, and REI. The site provides a complete (daunting) list of <strong> tasks </strong> in a <strong> calendar </strong> and a <a target="_blank" href=http://www.weddingchannel.com/cgi-bin/gx.cgi/AppLogic+com.wc.Utility.NavBarForStaticHTML?frmSection=planning&location=%2Ftemplates%2FManageRegistry%2FRC.html> Registry Checklist</a> <p> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.target.com/"> Target</a>'s <a target="_blank" href="http://www.target.com/gp/registry/wedding.html/ref=nav_gr_1/601-6647744-9297735?type=wedding"> Club Wedd</a> has their own site, but only for pre-registration (which forces you into their stores). <p> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.ModernBride.com/"> ModernBride</a>'s <a target="_blank" href="http://www.weddingnetwork.com/"> WeddingNetwork.com</a> provides on-line purchase from Robinsons-May, Stroud's, Blockbuster, and Stacks (as well as services in the Northwest/California). <p> <li><a target="_blank" href=http://www.wal-mart.com/>Wal-Mart</a> hasn't woken up to the potential of on-line registries yet. </ul> </p><p> <em> Among the list of wedding sites at <a href=http://www.tietheknot.com/sites.htm> TieTheKnot.com</a> and others: </em> </p><p><ul> <li><a target="_blank" href="http://www.weddingpages.com"> Wedding Pages.com</a> provides a guide to couples planning more than 4 months in the future. </p><p> <li><a target="_blank" href=http://www.weddingsgalore.com/cermusic.html> WeddingsGalore.com has a great list of music</a>. <p> </ul> <!-- <p align="center"> <a class="OfferText" target="_blank" href=http://www.crafter.com/creations/calligraphy.shtml> <img width=220 height=280 src=http://www.crafter.com/creations/images/candy_wedding.gif border="0"><br /> Get this hand-calligraphy framed!</a> </P> --> </ul> </td><td width="40" align="center"><br /> <a href="#TopMenu"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/top1.gif" alt="Go to Top of this page." border="0" width="16" height="16" /></a> <br /> <a href="#Weddings"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcuptri.gif" alt="Previous topic this page" width="32" height="22" border="0"></a> <br /> <a href="#Bottom"><img src="http://merc.tv/img/wcdntri.gif" alt="Next topic this page" width="40" height="23" border="0" /></a> </td></tr></table> <p align="center"> <script type="text/javascript"><!-- google_ad_client = "pub-1513434032794226"; google_alternate_color = "FFFFe0"; google_ad_width = 728; google_ad_height = 90; google_ad_format = "728x90_as"; google_ad_channel ="7426624388";google_language = 'en'; google_color_border = "FDFFCA"; google_color_bg = "FDFFCA"; google_color_link = "0000CC"; google_color_url = "008000"; google_color_text = "000000"; //--></script></p> <a name="Bottom"></a> <center><p class="Byline" align="center"> Portions &copy;Copyright 1996-2014 Wilson Mar. 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