Issues of Controversy This is a list of society's most serious, heavy, sad, and disgusting problems. My interest here is in the process how we deal with them. Chinese Proverb: War not determine who right, war determine who left. ... when you have read something by me you actually experience the thing. You can't do this without putting in the bad and the ugly as well as what is beautiful. Because it is all beautiful you can't believe in it. Things aren't that way. —Ernest Hemingway, 1925

Topics this page: List of Issues Justice Politically Correct Lifestyle Choices Styles of Coping Phases of Coping Faith Letting Go It is the Soldiers Your comments???

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Alphabetical List of Issues It is risky to address any of these topics. It is usually not appropriate (considered vulgar) to joke about these topics to avoid offending many people who have strong emotional opinions about these subjects.

Justice Get this watercolor for your wall

The Hebrew calligraphy on the left is from Amos 5:21-24 (NIV), in which G-d said: ”I hate all your show and pretense - the hypocrisy of your religious festivals and solemn assemblies. 22 I will not accept your burnt offerings and grain offerings. I won't even notice all your choice peace offerings. 23 Away with your hymns of praise! They are only noise to my ears. I will not listen to your music, no matter how lovely it is. 24 Instead, I want to see a mighty flood of justice, a river of righteous living that will never run dry.” According to Henry Craik, author of "Easy introduction to the Hebrew Language" (London: Sealey and Burnside, 1831) the Hebrew term for 'wicked' comes from a root that expresses the notion of restlessness. A 'sinner' is one who misses the mark. To 'delight' in anything is literally to bend down towards it. The 'law' is that which indicates the mind of God. 'Righteousness' is that which is perfectly straight. 'Truth' is that which is firm. To 'trust' is to take shelter under, or to lean upon, or to cast oneself on. To 'judge' is radically [as to its root meaning] to smooth or make equal." “let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.” —1st John 3:18 “The LORD will settle international disputes. All the nations will beat their swords into plowshares and their spears into pruning hooks. All wars will stop, and military training will come to an end. Come, people of Israel, let us walk in the light of the LORD!” —Isaiah 2:3-5 “Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.” —found by Philip Greenspun Justice that love gives is a surrender, justice that law gives is a punishment. —Mahatma Gandhi Health reporter Susan Seliger writes: Bad stress is triggered ... by the feeling that one's decisions are useless, that life is overwhelming and beyond personal control. Positive stress comes from rising to challenges, feeling confidence and a sense of control over one's destiny.

Politically Correct Dictionary Sorry, source unknown Aircraft Crash = Controlled flight into terrain; failure to maintain clearance from the ground. Corsage = Botanical companion. Honey = Stolen non-human-animal sweetener. Robot = Mechanical-american. Pet rock = Mineral companion. Puppet = Hand-held American. Maiden name = Birth family name. Man-made = Artificial; synthetic. Manpower = Human resources. Man-months = Person months. Manned = Crewed. Retreat = Exfiltration. Unfinished = In the early stages of finalization. Dishonest = Ethically disoriented; morally different. Lie = Counterfactual proposition. Dishonest = Morally different; ethically disoriented. Lazy = Motivationally dispossessed. Misbehavior = Negative attention getting. Flunk out = Have one's progress toward alternative life pursuits expedited. Crazy = Emotionally different. Junkie = Person with a pharmacological preference. Illness = Health alteration. Dead = Terminally Inconvenienced; nonviable; no longer a factor. Deaf = Aurally challenged; aurally inconvenienced. Death = Failure to fulfill one's wellness potential. Suicide = Autoeuthanasia; voluntary death. Corpse = Nonliving person Murder = Arbitrary deprivation of life. Prison cell = Custody suite. Housework = Domestic arts. Lumberjack = Tree butcher. Panhandler = Unaffiliated applicant for private-sector funding. Fisherman = Fisher. Bum = Non-goal oriented member of society. Dirty old man = Sexually focused chronologically gifted male individual. Sloppy = Nontraditionally ordered; specially organized. Stupid = Cerebrally challenged. Boring = Charm-free; differently interesting. Old = Chronologically gifted; experientially enhanced; longer living; mature; senior; seasoned. Vague/Spacey = Differently focused. Tax payments = Contributions. Explosion = Energetic disassembly. Heroine = Hera; she-ro.

Get this framed for your wall! Proverbs 12:25 An anxious heart weighs a man down, but a kind word cheers him up. Philippians 4:8 Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable —if anything is excellent or praiseworthy —think about such things. Proverbs 15:4 (NIV) “The tongue that brings healing is a tree of life, but a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit." Ephesians 4:29-30 “Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification according to the need of the moment, that it may give grace to those who hear.” Proverbs 17:27-28 (NIV) “A man of knowledge uses words with restraint, and a man of understanding is even-tempered. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” Proverbs 25:11 “A word aptly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Colossians 4:5-6 “Conduct yourselves with wisdom toward outsiders, making the most of the opportunity. Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned as it were with salt, so that you may know how you should respond to each person.” “The police are not here to create disorder, they're here to preserve disorder” —a "slip of the tongue" by former Chicago mayor Daley during the infamous 1968 convention police riots. gop.com - the Republican Party dems2004.com - the Democratic Party American Independent Party Green Party Libertarian Party Peace and Freedom Party Agape Press provides news from a Christian viewpoint Politics is war without bloodshed while war is politics with bloodshed. —Mao Tse-Tung Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. —Voltaire Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when it is the only one we have. —Alain Chartier

Lifestyle Choices How often do you fight about decisions about basic stuff: Diet: food, drinks, drugs Appearance: wardrobe, jewelery, hair Shopping Entertainment: movies and TV shows to watch church attendance mutual friends Use of abilities in job, career, vocation, hobbies, vacations Use of contraception child-rearing practices Transportation: car, etc. Home location, furnishings

Ever notice how the things we want are also the source of common distress? Food addictions Competition for spouse/friend Overspending, financial troubles Addiction to pornography Differences or degree of interest Infidelity Loss of a job or dissatisfaction with career Unexpected pregnancies, miscarriages Living away from family or too close to family Unable to get there on time Home being burglarized

Do not lay up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven. —Matthew 6:19-20.

Coping Styles Get this print framed for your wall! How are we to develop an understanding about these issues—and the implications of these issues without discussing them? How do we stay mindful of these frailties of human nature? How do we live despite them? The range of responses: Separation/Isolation Engagement/Envelopment Flight Fight “be holy” = separate “occupy until I return” “stay away from it” “get in there and fight it out” “our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.” —Martin Luther King Jr. (In Sopranos accent) "Fogget 'bout it"   “Accept the challenges so that you may feel the exhilaration of victory.” Forgive “The hottest places in Hell are reserved for those who, in times of great moral crisis, maintain their neutrality.” —Dante Alighieri (1265-1321) Italian poet Abbie Hoffman's Steal This Book, published 1971

“To be, or not to be: that is the question: Whether 't is nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune, Or to take arms against a sea of troubles, And by opposing end them?” — Shakespeare's Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 1 (Magnet poetry Java applet) “Two beer or not two beer” —Shakesbeer Two people are talking religion. One says to the other, "Sometimes I'd like to ask God why he allows poverty, famine, and injustice when he could do something about it." "What's stopping you?" asks the second. The first replies, "I'm afraid God might ask me the same question." “Pray not to be sheltered from dangers, but to be fearless in facing them.” —Rabindranath Tagore “The real hero is always a hero by mistake; he dreams of being an honest coward like everybody else.” —Umberto Eco "A little kindness from person to person is better than a vast love for all humankind." —Richard Dehmel "Grief and tragedy and hatred are only for a time. Goodness, remembrance, and love have no end. And the Lord of life holds all who die, and all who mourn." —George W. Bush at the National Cathedral after Sept. 11 (speech written by Michael Gerson) Chinese Characters for Peace: Japaese Kanji Characters for Peace: Hebrew for peace: Islam "Salam":

Phases of Coping Does it help to remember that there are phases to the cycle of life? Gail Sheehy made a fortune in her books centered around "Passages". The Biblical Counseling Foundation doesn't buy into the observations of Elizabeth Kubler Ross, who identified stages in her famous book Death and Dying: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance Forgiveness Is it possible to go straight to forgiveness? “Reject your sense of injury and the injury itself disappears.” —Marcus Aurelius, Meditations “Preoccupation with our own interests - our own narrow desires, ambitions, and goals - undermines our ability to be compassionate. Conversely, the more we concern ourselves with providing for others' well-being, the more meaningful our lives become and the happier we ourselves will be.” —The Dalai Lama “When I was a young man, I wanted to change the world. I found it was difficult to change the world, so I tried to change my nation. When I found I couldn't change the nation, I began to focus on my town. I couldn't change the town and as an older man, I tried to change my family. Now, as an old man, I realize the only thing I can change is myself, and suddenly I realize that if long ago I had changed myself, I could have made an impact on my family. My family and I could have made an impact on our town. Their impact could have changed the nation and I could indeed have changed the world.” —a monk, 1100 “You must be the change you wish to see in the world.” —Mahatma Gandhi “Life is a comedy to those who think, and a tragedy to those who feel.” —Walpol We must transform the jangling discord of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood. —Martin Luther King

Anger "Don't make me angry; you wouldn't like me when I'm angry" — Bill Bixby as Bruce Banner in THE INCREDIBLE HULK TV show “How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.” —Marcus Aurelius James 1:19 “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” Ephesians 4:25-27 “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry...” Ephesians 4:31-32 KJV Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice: And be kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christs's sake hath forgiven you. Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”

Faith vs. Forgiveness

“It was good for me to have been afflicted so that I might learn thy [your] statutes [decrees].” — King David, Psalm 119:71 KJV, [NIV] Psalm 32:10 “He who trusts in the Lord, Mercy shall surround him.” Matthew 12:20 describes Jesus' fulfillment of Isa. 42:1-4 “He will not crush those who are weak, or quench the smallest hope, until he brings full justice with his final victory.” 2 Timothy 1:7 [NLT] “For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.” From the Christian Quote of the Day To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you. This is hard. It is perhaps not so hard to forgive a single injury. But to forgive the incessant provocations of daily life -- to keep on forgiving the bossy mother-in-law, the bullying husband, the nagging wife, the selfish daughter, the deceitful son -- how can we do it? Only, I think, by remembering where we stand, by meaning our words when we say in our prayers each night, "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us." We are offered forgiveness on no other terms. To refuse it means to refuse God's mercy for ourselves. There is no hint of exceptions and God means what He says. —C. S. Lewis (1898-1963), "On Forgiveness"

Letting Go Letting go does not mean to stop caring; It means I can't do it for someone else. Letting go is not to cut myself off, It's the realization I can't control another. Letting go is not to enable; But to allow learning from natural consequences. Letting go is to admit powerlessness; Which means the outcome is not in my hands. Letting go is not to try to change or blame another; It's to make the most of myself. Letting go is not to care for; but to care about. Letting go is not to fix; but to be supportive. Letting go is not to judge; but to allow another to be a human being. Letting go is not to be in the middle arranging the outcome; but to allow others to affect their own destinies. Letting go is not to be protective; It's to permit another to face reality. Letting go is not to deny; but to accept. Letting go is not to nag, scold, or argue; But to search out my own shortcomings and correct them. Letting go is not to adjust everything to my own desires; But to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it. Letting go is not to regret the past; But to grow and live for today. Letting go is to fear less and live more. —Author unknown

When Trust Is Lost: Healing for victims of sexual abuse How Can I Live With My Loss? The process of dealing with grief and loss When Violence Comes Home: Help for victims of spouse abuse When Help Is Needed: A biblical view of counseling When Hope Is Lost: Dealing With Depression When Forgiveness Seems Impossible: Knowing when and how to forgive From the Biblical Counseling Foundation: Forgiveness Quiz Forgiveness: Obedience and Fellowship Forgiveness: God's Antidote for Anger Buy the book Forgiveness: The Power and the Puzzles “If you cry because the sun has gone out of your life, your tears will prevent you from seeing the stars.” —Georgia Peach Giving up doesn't always mean you are weak; sometimes it means that you are strong enough to let go. —Unknown

It is the Soldier by Father Dennis Edward O'Brien, United States Marine Corps It is the Soldier, not the reporter Who has given us freedom of the press. It is the Soldier, not the poet, Who has given us freedom of speech. It is the Soldier, not the campus organizer, Who has given us the freedom to demonstrate. It is the Soldier, not the lawyer, Who has given us the right to a fair trial. It is the Soldier, who salutes the flag, who serves beneath the flag, And whose coffin is draped by the flag, Who allows the protestor to burn the flag.

Sweet are the many uses of adversity. — Duke Senior in As You Like It by Wm Shakespeare

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