You Know You're a Quality Zealot When...

1. You ask waiters what their restaurant's core competencies are.
2. You keep a log of how many calories you eat and every penny you spend.
3. Your three meals a day are a morning consumption function, a noontime consumption function, and an evening consumption function.
4. Your deliverable for Sunday evening is clean laundry and paid bills.

5. You believe every company is "a traditional functional organization, with promotion based on tenure, but one that needs to change as it is facing ever increasing competition..."
6. You can spell paradigm.
7. You actually know what a paradigm is.
8. You try to re-org your family into a team-based organization.

9. You refer to dating as test marketing.
10. You write executive summaries on your love letters.
11. You refer to your significant other as "my co-CEO."
12. At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity.
13. You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child.
14. You refer to divorce as divestiture.
15. You refer to a previous marriage as sunk cost.

16. Your favorite stories begin "Bob Jones, VP of marketing, sat at his desk and stared out his window..."
17. Your favorite artist is the one who does the dot drawings for the Wall Street Journal.
18. None of your favorite publications have cartoons.
19. You attach charts with your tax forms to the IRS.
20. You believe the best tables and graphs take an hour to comprehend.

21. You calculate your own personal cost of capital.
22. You account for your tuition as a capital expenditure instead of an expense.
23. You start doing your kid's math equations in reverse Polish notation.
24. You enjoy using an HP-12C.
25. You prefer to think of more borrowing as being "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt."
26. When you build a house, you call your fellow alumni and offer to name a room after them, if they'll help with the down payment.

27. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities."
28. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten page paper with six other people you don't know.
29. You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering," "down-sizing," "right-sizing," and "firing people's arses."
30. You actually believe your explanation above.
31. You feel sorry for Dilbert's boss.

32. You ask the car salesman if the car comes with a whiteboard and Internet connection.
33. You know every single piece of clip art in PowerPoint.
34. You understand your airline's fare structure.

35. You refer to the children's homework as milestones before they can watch TV.
36. You ask children the value-added of watching one program over another.
37. You ask the children for a Cost/Benefit Analysis before buying a toy they want.
38. You look in catalogs for classes on how to play Nintendo.
39. You describe discipline problems as “effective handling of an administrative situation.”
40. You draw a decision tree to explain what happens when your children misbehave.
41. You give constructive feedback to your dog.

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