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- The Cathedral of St. John the Devine in New York City is one of the largest
"New Age" Churches in America.
- U.S. President Abraham Lincoln read and loved the Bible but
would never formally associate with any organized church.
7th Day Adventists offers
Answers to Bible questions and their
Amazing Facts Bible Study on-line.
African Methodist Episcopal (AME) Church
founded by Richard Allen in 1786.
Assemblies of God (Pentecostal)
- Atheists: Cygnus, the Secular Web
The Presby Philes Humour Pages
I was walking across a bridge one day,
and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off.
I immediately ran over and said
"Stop! Don't do it!"
"Why shouldn't I?" he said.
I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!"
"Well ... are you religious or atheist?"
"Me too! Are you Christian or Jewish?"
"Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?"
"Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?"
"Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?"
"Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Original Baptist Church of God, or
are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God."
"Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?"
"Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!"
To which I said, "Die, heretic scum!" and pushed him off.
"This is as bad as it can get,
from George Lawson's Maranatha Webwatch
but don't bet on it."
Question: How many Baptists does it take to change a light bulb?
Question: How many Southern Baptists does it take to change a light
Answer: One Hundred and Nine — 7 on the Light Bulb Task Force Sub-committee,
who report to the 12 on the Light Bulb Task Force,
appointed by the 15 on the Trustee Board.
Their recommendation is reviewed by the Finance Executive Committee of
5, who place it on the agenda of the 18 member Finance Committee.
If they approve, they bring a motion to the 27
member church Board, who appoint another 12 member review
committee. If they recommend that the Church Board proceed,
a resolution is brought to the Congregational Business
Meeting. They appoint another 8 member review committee. If
their report to the next Congregational Business Meeting
supports the changing of a light bulb, and the Congregation
votes in favor, the responsibility to carry out the light
bulb change is passed on to the Trustee Board, who in turn
appoint a 7 member committee to find the best price in new
light bulbs. Their recommendation of which hardware has the
best buy must then be reviewed by the 23 member Ethics
Committee to make certain that this hardware store has no
connection to Disneyland. They report back to the Trustee
Board who, then commissions the Trustee in charge of the
Janitor to ask him to make the change. By then the janitor
discovers that one more light bulb has burned out.
- Boston Church of Christ, United Pentecostal Church
The Budha's main enlightenment is that desire is the root of
all suffering, and thus desire must be crushed
(this state s known as nirvana).
Budhism also holds basically that all of physical reality is maya
(illusion) that must be transcended.
Fundamentalist" denominations include Assemblies of God,
Question: How many fundamentalists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, because any more might result in too much cooperation.
- The teaching of the Vatican disagrees with the
“once and for all time” sacrifice (especially in relation to the Mass),
the “supreme authority” of the Bible,
Christ's role as the “only mediator” (which contradicts the role of priests and the virgin Mary in the Catholic church).
Now the Holy Spirit tells us clearly that in the last times some will turn away from what we believe; they will follow lying spirits and teachings that come from demons.
These teachers are hypocrites and liars. They pretend to be religious, but their consciences are dead.
They will say it is wrong to be married and wrong to eat certain foods.
—1 Timothy 4:1-3 (New Living Translation)
But be not ye called Rabbi: for one is your Master, even Christ; and all ye are brethren.
9 And call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven.
—Matthew 23:8-9 (New Living Translation)
Question: How many Calvinists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: None. God has predestined when the light will be on.
Besides, Calvinists don't change light bulbs. They
simply read the instructions and pray the light bulb
will be one that has been chosen to be changed.
Question: How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: One to change the bulb and nine to pray against the spirit
Islam101.com quotes The Holy Quran:
"Do not let your hatred of a people incite you to aggression." (5:2).
"And do not let ill-will towards any folk incite you so that you swerve from dealing justly. Be just; that is nearest to heedfulness" (5:8).
CAIR asks Muslims around the world to sign their "Not in the Name of Islam" petition
to correct misperceptions of Islam and the Islamic stance on religiously-motivated terror.
Rutgers University's Islamic Studies website
The Message Of The Prophets: A study of Islam
- The Arabic name for "Jesus the Messiah" is Isa al Masih
- Three sections of the Bible are cited by the Koran as being Divinely revealed: the Pentateuch, or Books of Moses (Tawrat); the Psalms of David (Zabur); and the Gospels (Evangel) of Jesus (Injil) - the New Testament [Glasse, The Concise Encyclopedia of Islam, pg. 72.]
Answering-Islam.com for Christian-Muslim dialog
- Jehovah's Witnesses
Church of Scientology attracts people with personality tests.
It has celebrity members Tom Cruise (but not Nicole Kidman any more).
Question: How many United Methodists does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: This statement was issued:
“We choose not to make a
statement either in favor of or against the need for a light
bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that a
light bulb works for you, that is fine. You are invited to
write a poem or compose a modern dance about your personal
relationship with your light bulb (or light source, or non-
dark resource), and present it next month at our annual light
bulb Sunday service, in which we will explore a number of
light bulb traditions, including incandescent, fluorescent,
three-way, long-life, and tinted--all of which are equally
valid paths to luminescence.”
- Eastern Orthodox:
- Science of Mind (non Christian)
“God rather than Christ centered”
Question: How many liberals does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: At least ten, as they need to hold a debate on whether or
not the light bulb exists. Even if they can agree upon the
existence of the light bulb, they still might not change it,
to keep from alienating those who might use other forms of