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Troubleshooting ComputersThis page is for frustrated computer users. Get any ideas to fix your computer?
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The Windows Boot Sequence
Then, Windows goes through this boot sequence: |
Troubleshooting Process Steps
Collect (1. detect a failure & 2. diagnose cause)3. Determine possible solutions4. Take Corrective Action |
I'm sorry, Dave. I'm afraid I can't do that. —Computer HAL in Arthur C. Clarke's film 2001: A Space Odyssey “Prescription without Diagnosis is Malpractice” “For Every Obstacle There is a Solution - over, under, around, or through" —Dan Zadra
Results! Why, man, I have gotten a lot of results.
I know several thousand things that won't work.
Diagnostic Tools |
Windows 2000 Debugging
Proactive Steps for a rainy daySafe Mode Advanced OptionsUses for Safe Mode |
Windows 2000 Installation lists the proactive steps to make troubleshooting easier. The Windows SDK provides the WDEB386 program for Kernel Debugging (WKD). 386SWAT is a similar tool. They use a low-level debugging interface to obtains control early in the Windows startup sequence. During Windows startup, while still in RM/VM, Windows tells the WKD as it loads the real mode portion of all of the VxDs to be used during a session. MSDN subscribers receive Checked builds that contain separate copies of various system DLLs containing more messages and checks on Windows execution. |
Make Network Boot DisketteYou'll need a Windows 2000 bootup diskette access to recover from a failed system volume that is mirrored. This takes the place of your system partition. After formatting the diskette with “/S” system files, copy these files to the diskette: |
In Windows 2000, the Disk Management MMC is used for both basic and dynamic disks. Dynamic disks are unique to Windows 2000. RAID sets upgraded from NT4 remain as "basic disks". So a new basic drive is needed to repair such sets. New RAID sets must be dynamic. Only basic disks can be bootable or partitioned (to a limit of 4) -- a legacy of NT4. Dynamic disks (not available on removeable media). "Revert Back to Basic Disk" requires a backup, disk deletion, and restore. NTFS Formatting: Only NTFS supports extending volumes. Logical drives and System and boot partitions are simple volumes in Windows 2000. However, Windows 9x on the same machine can't read dynamic disks. After installing hot swap hardware, click Action and Rescan Disk. |
Disk Recovery
Solve Disk Problems Before VolumeOn mirrored (RAID-1) drives:If a RAID-5 fails, don't Delete Volume or you'll delete the entire RAID array and its data.
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Proactive Coding Practices
Differentiate the type of messages issued: | Developing Windows Error Messages by Ezzell, Ben. O'Reilly and Associates, 1998.
Instead of a simple "Syntax error", this author suggests a less ambiguous message text:
Windows DNA Error Handling 101 by Paul Bates Code Complete Jim Carlton reports on stupid computer stories in the Wall Street Journal |
Computer Problem Report Form
Your Name: __________________________ Your Login Name: ____________________ The date? __/__/__ The date the problem first occurred if different? __/__/__ 1. Describe your problem: __________________________________________ 2. Now, describe the problem accurately: __________________________________________ 3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem: __________________________________________ __________________________________________ 4. Problem Severity: A. Minor__ B. Minor__ C. Minor__ D. Trivial__ 5. Nature of the problem: A. Locked Up__ B. Frozen__ C. Hung__ D. Shot__ 6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__ 7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__ 8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__ 9. Have you made it worse? Yes__ 10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__ 11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__ 12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__ 13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__ 14. If `Yes' then why can't you fix the problem yourself? _________________ 15. How tall are you? Are you above this line? __________________ 16. Is the equipment unexpectedly noisy? Yes___ No ___ 17. If 'Yes", what sort of noise? Grinding ___ Rattling ___ Whirring ___ High Pitched Whine ___ Sound of disk head scouring disk ___ Strange, out of tune whistling or humming ___ 18. Is there a smell of burning? Yes___ No ___ 19. If "Yes", is the equipment on fire? Yes___ No ___ 20. Is the fault repeatable? Yes___ No ___ 21. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred? ______________________________________________________ 22. If `nothing' explain why you were logged in. ________________________________________________________________ 23. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__ 24. How does this problem make you feel? ____________________________ 25. Tell me about your childhood. ___________________________________ 26. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__ 27. Which are appears to be at fault? Communications ___ Disk ___ Base Unit ___ Network ___ Keyboard ___ Screen ___ Mouse ___ Everything ___ Don't Know ___ 28. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes_ |
Is Your Computer a Male or Female?
Recently, a group of computer scientists (all male) announced that computers should be referred to as female. Their reasons for drawing this conclusion follow:
Five reasons to believe computers are female:However, another group of computer scientists (all female) think that computers should be referred to as male. Their reasons follow:
Five reasons to believe computers are male: | “To err is human. To really foul things up requires a computer.” This sort of thing has cropped up before....and it has always been due to human error. —Computer HAL in Arthur C. Clarke's film 2001: A Space Odyssey |
Start/Stop: Abbott and Costello Meet Microsoft WindowsCostello: Hey, Abbott! Abbot: Yes, Lou? Costello: I just got my first computer. Abbot: That's great Lou. What did you get? Costello: A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM. Abbot: That's terrific, Lou. Costello: But I don't know what any of it means!! Abbot: You will in time. Costello: That's exactly why I am here to see you. Abbot: Oh? Costello: I heard that you are a real computer expert. Abbot: Well, I don't know- Costello: Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going to train me. Abbot: Really? Costello: Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson. Abbot: O.K. Lou. What do want to know? Costello: I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard that you should be very careful how you turn it off. Abbot: That's true. Costello: So, here I am working on my new computer and I want to turn it off. What do I do? Abbot: Well, first you press the Start button, and then- Costello: No, I told you, I want to turn it off. Abbot: I know, you press the Start button- Costello: Wait a second. I want to turn it Off. I know how to start it. So tell me what to do. Abbot: I did. Costello: When? Abbot: When I told you to press the Start button. Costello: Why should I press the Start button? Abbot: To shut off the computer. Costello: I press Start to stop. Abbot: Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer. Costello: I knew it! So what do I press? Abbot: Start. Costello: Start what? Abbot: Start button. Costello: Start button to do what? Abbot: Shut down. Costello: You don't have to get rude! Abbot: No, no, no! That's not what I meant. Costello: Then say what you mean. Abbot: To shut down the computer, press- Costello: Don't say, "Start!" Abbot: Then what do you want me to say? Costello: Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am willing to press the Stop button, the End button and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their right mind presses the Start to Stop. Abbot: But that's what you do. Costello: And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at green lights. Abbot: Don't be ridiculous. Costello: I'M being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about time we started this conversation. Abbot: What are you talking about? Costello: I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye. |
Haiku Error MessagesTired of impersonal and unhelpful Microsoft error messages? |
Related:
Win2000 Admin
Tech Support
PC Configurations
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